Little Girl Lost

I spent the majority of this somewhat overcast, somewhat humid, overall unpleasant morning laying in my bed and reflecting. For some unexplainable reason, that bed seems to have fueled my truest and most brutally honest thoughts, and this morning proved to be no different. As I lay there, looking up at the shadows cast on the textured ceiling by rotating fan blades, I realized that I truly know nothing. All thoughts and preconceptions before today were naive follies and ultimately proved to be inaccurate, at best. At worst - they were horribly horribly incorrect and resulted in hurt feelings and a jaded persona. I'm not sure why it took so long to realize this up until now, but it finally sunk in....and I wish I could forget my new found truth. I know that if you, whomever you are, have read prior blog entries you might not think of me to be an optimist - but I think if there ever was an optimist it would be me. Having said that and thinking over my own words...I wonder if I was really being an optimist, or just wanting for the best to happen out of sheer fear of the worst. With a hint of denial, of course. Do we already know these unmistakable truths but continue to live our lives fill of ignorance and delusion; or is life like one of those laws that we learn about in high school chemistry and physics class? Life = blind faith + perseverance? What I know right now is that the honest faces are sometimes attached to the most heinous liars, the bad guys don't always wear black and lurk in the shadows, and sometimes while the trials and tribulations of life ravage our souls the hero never ever comes. Some people continue to live without these affecting them, and I keep them in my prayers. With any luck, I'll regain my faith in the not too distant future, but for now...